A friend just sent me this image, knowing my Southern roots, and I just loved it!! But it provoked a facetious vein in my heart as I grew up in a Southern culture where baptism was a big issue—is only baptism by immersion acceptable or is baptism by sprinkling adequate. Well, let me assure you that in my little fundamentalist Christian corner of the world it was immersion as there was no biblical mention of any “lame-ass” (my embellishment) thing like sprinkling. If you didn’t get dunked, it didn’t count! For, “where in the Bible was there any mention of ‘sprinkling’?” To make matters worse, “fire hose” baptism????” Now Jesus never heard of a hose, much less a fire hose. Back then, the damn house just burned down…unless a lot of men could catch it early and just piss the flame out. So the notion of a fire hose baptism just rankles me on so many levels!!!
One other facetious note. When in my teens, my pastor told me of one older member of the church who didn’t like the idea of a baptistry in the church. The “baptistry” is a tank of sorts in which the baptism takes place, as opposed to the local river. This gentleman, and I remember him well and he was such a good old soul, told the pastor, “Well, if the water ain’t running, it don’t count” to which my pastor responded, “Well, I’ll just pull plug and let it be draining.” See entire photographic essay below.